the pain

I'm now on a very intense killing pain that make me want to amputate this leg and throw it away!

After few days waiting,here come the minor operation! I don't want to write too long.Just simply on the procedure i'ved been through!

1) cut off the superficial dead skin

2) using nitrogen **** (don't know the exact name) spray 190 degree below zero onto the open skin

The second step was the worst.It feels like pinching,scratching,incising your own skin.Very painful enough to make me shouting!even i never been to snowy place,at last i know how's the frost bite is! But this is rather extreme than frost bite itself as i expose my skin 190 degree below the zero level!!!! But,the outstanding achievement of mine tonight is- i don't cry even a drop! But i think i nearly broke the fingers of Sal and Bai whose holding me tightly!

After this spray,the doctor said there will be a vesicle formation,no pain! You can even walk or run! Hahaha....no doctor.I won't believe you! This killing pain is enough already to tell me what -no pain- means to you.Or i just being "manja"?

I'm now surfing the internet right on my bed after taking 2 tablets of analgesic to kill this pain.But up till now,it gives NO effect! The intense pain is still here.It comes and goes.Like someone  inserting your skin with needle and burn it right away after that.I don't know how can i describe this pain,but it's REALLY REALLY PAINFUL!

I just need to wait for the vesicle to form and go to the doctor next sunday to cut off the skin.Wah,this one is real operation neh! After removing the vesicle,i should cover it with sterilize gauze and do not let the water touch this area for 3 days! Can i survive the pain???

So,pray for me!

i think i need to do something to distract the pain away from my sense!
i am going to call cik ayah at home that surely don't have enough sleep just because worrying of me!


Hah, saya berdoa semoga dengan setiap kesakitan yang saya rasa ini,jadi kafarah dosa2 saya.Seronoknya sakit bila tahu bersabar.Moga dengan kesabaran ini mampu membuang jauh dosa2 nan menggunung itu! Yey!


Wallahualam